Remember Love
by Ron Dow75
Summary: Everybody must pay the price of Moroboshi's curse, especially the guys.


Remember Love  
  
By Ron Dow75  
  
[This story comes from an idea by Erutaerc, and the  
  
inspiration of the "UY" movie "Remember My Love".]  
  
Wizard Tsubame Ozuno rubbed his bloodshot eyes again.  
  
He decided to leave his special project on his conjuring  
  
table and take a rest break. He'd been at it for nearly a  
  
month now. The lack of sleep was beginning to take its  
  
toll on his handsome face.  
  
He went to the kitchen of his modest Gothic mansion on  
  
the outskirts of Tokyo, and started making himself another  
  
pot of strong coffee. Coffee, not tea. That was a habit  
  
he'd picked up when he had studied the occult arts in  
  
America and Europe. He had needed the caffeine when his  
  
he was required to stay up late. So many of their Western  
  
spells called for some phase of the moon or the other--  
  
The Moon! Tomorrow was a full moon! He just HAD to finish  
  
his special project by tomorrow!  
  
"Come on! Come on!" he told the percolator. "I wish I  
  
had spent my money on a coffeemaker rather than that  
  
dehydrator! But it's so hard to BUY dried tongue of dog  
  
or powdered asphodel in Japan, and the shipping costs  
  
from--"  
  
Suddenly the brochure he was fanning the flames of his  
  
gas range caught fire! First screaming and running around  
  
for a half-a-minute, he tossed it into the sink. Hurrying  
  
over, he turned on the tap. Only when the fire was  
  
doused, did he notice what it was a brochure of:  
  
"Tomobiki Marchenland. Japan's 1st Fairy Tale Amusement  
  
Park".  
  
Tsubame Ozuno cried, "It's an omen!" He immediately  
  
headed back for his conjuring room. For the thousandth  
  
time, he repeated aloud what had led him to be doing his  
  
special project. The wizard in him felt the need to speak, to  
  
give the events even more significance, "The owners of  
  
"Marchenland" are American. I was commissioned by them  
  
since I am the ONLY practitioner of Western-style  
  
exorcism in Japan. Their customers all said the magic had  
  
gone after the first day. Everything had become as dull  
  
as ordinary life.  
  
"I was able to use my mystic powers to trace the lack  
  
of disturbance to the "Mirror House". Once there I could  
  
have cast my spells, but I waited, for the witching hour.  
  
And then..." he opened the door to his conjuring room. It  
  
was a darkened room anybody familiar with the arcane  
  
props of European magic would be familiar with, complete  
  
to the cauldron in the large hearth. "...THEY appeared.  
  
Only I, in all of Greater Tokyo, could possibly  
  
recognize them for what they truly were."  
  
Ozuno went back to the pentagram and its occult  
  
symbols woven into the black tablecloth. On it, were  
  
pieces of what looked like glass. Most of them had  
  
already been assembled into a globe shape. Ozuno sat down  
  
and picked up the bottle of glue again, "I am SURE this  
  
is no ordinary crystal ball. It has enough magic in it  
  
to..." he chuckled at what could be no more than wishful  
  
thinking, "...to do more than just PREDICT fortunes?" But  
  
then, as a wizard, he believed in the power of wishing  
  
thinking.  
  
He had to. It was what kept his hope alive, "Sakura, I  
  
do this for us. I will use my magic to accomplish a great  
  
feat, and then...THEN we can become man and wife."  
  
The next day, in Tomobiki High School:  
  
"Sakura! Sakura!!" the all too familiar and irritating  
  
voice of Ataru Moroboshi called out to beautiful Shinto  
  
priestess and school nurse above the din of the crowded  
  
room.  
  
At the moment she was in the infirmary, and so in  
  
the white full-length lab coat of the nurse, "Leave me  
  
ALONE, Moroboshi!!"  
  
"But every minute we waste, we waste of our fleeting  
  
youth, that can never--" Ataru found out again. Sakura was  
  
also a black belt martial artist. Rather than let him  
  
grab her, she threw the homely teen in the plebe uniform.  
  
Nothing unusual about that.  
  
But she was so stressed by the day, she let the body  
  
hit somebody. That somebody was another Tomobiki High  
  
student, Megane. The teen with the thick glasses did not  
  
fall because his minion wide Kakugari was standing behind  
  
him. But it wasn't really Kakugari's idea to save his leader  
  
from a fall. There was no room for him to back up.  
  
Shoving Ataru down from himself, Megane cried, "Miss  
  
Sakura! Why did you do that!?!"  
  
She pointed at all of the school boys crowded in the  
  
school infirmary, "Because there's no room to toss even a  
  
cat!! Look at you all! None of you are here because you  
  
are sick!"  
  
Megane's associates, Perm, Chibi, and Kakugari, and  
  
the few others paying attention went into a lousy job of  
  
acting sick. "Of course we're sick! Can't you see how bad  
  
we are by looking at us?"  
  
The only teen in the white plebe uniform got in front of  
  
them, "You are well known for being bad, Miscreants! We  
  
of the Shadow Scholastic Life Leaders have a complete  
  
dossier on each of you."  
  
Ataru yelled from under him, "Mendou!!" and threw him  
  
off of him.  
  
Sakura had only gotten angrier, "You're all here ONLY  
  
because of Lum! I'm keeping this hospital screen around  
  
my patient so NOBODY can see her!" This scene was typical  
  
of the chaos that happened around the green-haired alien  
  
Oni. But Sakura didn't blame her, really. She blamed her  
  
blind love of that chaos-magnet, and lecher Ataru  
  
Moroboshi!  
  
Mendou was on his feet and by the nurses side,  
  
offering, "Sakura-sensei, the Mendou estate has the  
  
finest hospital facilities in the world. My fleet of  
  
ambulance helicopters is at your disposal."  
  
There were objections from the others in the room, led  
  
by Ataru, "You just want to get Lum away from us, and to  
  
yourself, Mendou!!"  
  
Megane, who spent all of his spare allowance on Lum  
  
souvenirs (and "Star Trek" and Nazi memorabilia) cried,  
  
"Miss Sakura, don't let Mendou BUY Lum!!"  
  
Sakura threw off her lab coat and instantly went from  
  
the wearing the smart blue dress and jewelry she had  
  
under it to the white coat and red, plaited, skirt-like  
  
hakama pants typical of Shinto exorcists. "Enough!! I've  
  
determined that Lum does not suffer from an illness! She  
  
is under a spell! And if I'm to find out what it is and how to  
  
remove it, I need privacy: OUT!!"  
  
They all saw that the magic wielder was serious.  
  
Deadly serious?  
  
The squat, English teacher Onsen-Mark chose that  
  
moment to open the infirmary door, "Classes have started!!  
  
Get back to your--" He was trampled by the stampede of  
  
students.  
  
In his red-lined opera cape, Wizard Tsubame Ozuno had  
  
moved the table and everything on it out into his  
  
spacious back yard, to pick up the unfiltered moonlight.  
  
The crystal had several shards and splinters missing and  
  
looked as badly cracked as it was. But it was clearly  
  
recognizable as a ball. Enchanted knife and rod in his  
  
hands, he began to chant over it.  
  
An ember flickered inside the crystal ball, then  
  
glowed. The brighter it became, the more the cracks began  
  
to fuse together. Just when it looked like the crystal  
  
was about to become one, the glow ignited to become a  
  
small flame. The missing pieces flew in on the wind from  
  
out of the night to merge with the creation of both  
  
alien-science and magic.  
  
Bathed in his own sweat from the exertion it took to  
  
control the terrible forces he was using, the Wizard  
  
looked at the result. He was impressed with himself.  
  
Never had one of his spells gone so well since he had  
  
returned to Japan. (In fact, none of his spells had gone  
  
well. The Buddhist monk Cherry, Sakura's uncle and the  
  
man whose blessing he needed to marry her, had said it  
  
was because Japan used a different system of magic. But  
  
Ozuno KNEW one day he would prove him, and everybody  
  
else, wrong! HE was part of the van guard that would  
  
unite the world under ONE system!)  
  
"Ahem! Yes. Now is not the time for this. Now is the  
  
time to complete the spell, to make my wish, to claim my  
  
fortune, to change the future, to--"  
  
Sakura's indignant voice interrupted him, "Tsubame! I  
  
follow the disturbance and I find YOU at the end of it!?"  
  
"Sakura! Now is not the time to distract me! I must  
  
maintain my concentration!"  
  
She came over to him and swatted the hand that held  
  
the knife with her wand with the zigzags of paper tied to it.  
  
"This is the PERFECT time! This accursed object is tied  
  
to Lum! By putting it back together, you endangered MORE  
  
than just her health!!"  
  
Tsubame was confused, "What??"  
  
"I saw that this object was broken. As it established  
  
its connection with her, Lum's life force ALSO developed  
  
the same fractures!"  
  
Tsubame looked at it. "But now it is whole. That means  
  
that Lum is alright...."  
  
Sakura nodded her head, "Lum's life force is now  
  
whole, again--But that's only because the CURSE is now  
  
joined to her!! WE must destroy this object before it can  
  
fulfill its dreadful purpose!"  
  
Tsubame laid his hand on what he had invested a month  
  
to salvaging. The object he was certain had more magic  
  
potential than any he had ever come across before.  
  
Sakura, his love, wanted him now to waste all of that.  
  
He lifted it up over his head, and--  
  
Sakura stopped him, "I SAID it was tied to Lum's life  
  
force! WE cannot simply destroy it without harming her!!  
  
Only the person CURSED has the key to nullifying it! We  
  
must find out what that key is!"  
  
Tsubame was abashed. "Of, of course. I know that."  
  
Rather than look at his love, he looked at the flames  
  
inside the crystal ball. Until a few minutes ago, they  
  
hadn't been there. He got an idea, "It WAS destroyed! The  
  
proper spell might have it tell us HOW!"  
  
Sakura said, "If there IS a proper spell! It WOULD  
  
have to be Western. Crystal balls are outside of Eastern  
  
magic."  
  
After nearly an hour, Sakura had give up. But Tsubame  
  
was determined to prove to his future-wife that his  
  
Western magic was just as good as her Eastern magic. If  
  
he couldn't do it with an object more Western than--  
  
Sakura said in wonder, "An image! I see an image  
  
inside the globe!"  
  
Tsubame blinked, "You do?"  
  
On closer inspection the odd shapes resolved  
  
themselves into letters. Sakura had seen similar ones  
  
before, thanks to Lum and her fellow aliens. Still, there  
  
was only one symbol that she thought she could  
  
understand: She ran her finger along what looked like a  
  
switch.  
  
"Universal Translator Activated: If found, drop in the  
  
nearest Galactic Mail Service box, care of the Milky Way  
  
"Curses R Us" Management Organization."  
  
Sakura had to ask, "What in outer space??" But she  
  
remembered she was a professional exorcist, and had  
  
responsibilities, "Tell us what the curse is!"  
  
"...If found, drop in the..."  
  
Angry, she raised her wand and started waving at it  
  
and chanting with her already hoarsening voice.  
  
Tsubame was in competition. If Sakura WAS able to get  
  
this thing to reveal the curse, she could NEVER learn to  
  
respect him. He made a fist and hit the crystal ball.  
  
An image of what in the West would see as an old  
  
crone witch appeared, and spoke: "How dare they invite  
  
everyone EXCEPT me, the Old Woman of the Oak Forest  
  
over for a birth celebration!..."  
  
Sakura asked, "How??!"  
  
Tsubame smiled, relieved and proud, "My time in the  
  
West HAS proven useful. Since I now know that technology,  
  
as well as magic, is involved in this crystal I just did  
  
what those in America do when they want something to  
  
work. They hit it."  
  
"...The newborn was a girl, was it not? Thus shall the  
  
curse be fulfilled: When the babe becomes a woman, her  
  
fate shall be such that she and her beloved man will be  
  
forever separated! No matter how much she may love him,  
  
the love won't be mutual. No matter how much she may  
  
fall in love, the love will be shattered and her dreams  
  
shall never come true!  
  
"Thus it shall be! Her destiny is now determined!"  
  
The revealed truth made Sakura feel quite ill, "You  
  
didn't bring a chair out here, did you?"  
  
Tsubame could understand her reaction, "That IS Lum's  
  
fate. Moroboshi is incapable of loving her."  
  
Sakura grew angry at the thought of that boy,  
  
"Moroboshi is incapable of loving anybody but Moroboshi!"  
  
Tsubame wondered, "Then he, too, is cursed?"  
  
Sakura grunted, "Of course. Uncle Cherry calls him the  
  
Most Unfortunate Boy Alive."  
  
Ozuno was inspired. As he stared at the crystal ball,  
  
its red and yellow flames flickered in his eyes.  
  
Just as his magic had difficulty dealing with things  
  
Japanese, Tsubame was able to convince Sakura, for the  
  
time being, any way, that Japanese magic would have  
  
difficulty dealing with this alien object. Since his  
  
Western magic seemed more compatible, HE was the one who  
  
could best guard it.  
  
But when his love had left, he started on his new  
  
plan. He had three days and nights that could count as a  
  
full moon. As an exorcist, he knew very well about  
  
getting the ghost or demon to leave the host and entering  
  
into a substitute. It was a very old tradition in the  
  
West. It was called "finding a scapegoat".  
  
He would transfer the curse onto Ataru Moroboshi.  
  
Since he was part of the curse, it would be relatively  
  
easy. It wasn't entirely ethical. But if it was a choice,  
  
why did it Lum have to be the one to suffer? Besides,  
  
everybody cursed Moroboshi and agreed he was as bad as a  
  
curse.  
  
Moroboshi was infamous, making National,  
  
International, and Galactic news. And like the Living  
  
Embodiment of Chaos Theory he was, whatever happened, he  
  
always managed to survive. Things could not possibly  
  
become any worse by him becoming more cursed. Right?  
  
Meanwhile, Sakura decided to apply her own magic. The  
  
object may be alien, but if its curse HAD been working  
  
and, non-Eastern or not, IN Japan. She might not know how to  
  
effect the glass globe, yet, but she DID know how to effect the  
  
immediate environment it acted in.  
  
Tsubame had told her about the "Mirror House" at  
  
"Marchenland". That was where she would start as soon as  
  
her duties allowed.  
  
Sixteen years ago the crystal ball had been sent, but  
  
had never reached "Curses R Us". If it had, they could  
  
have managed it through their knowledge of the Laws of  
  
Probability. Instead, it had laid lost for 300 years into  
  
the future.  
  
During the centuries, the curse's unfulfilled  
  
resentment would grow deeper and stronger, until its  
  
potential would become wild, unpredictable. It grew even  
  
beyond the ability of "Curses R Us" to direct. The Rules  
  
of Science and Logic no longer could contain it.  
  
It was destined to find one of Lum's descendants.  
  
Using its ability to perform wonders, it enchanted the  
  
ten-year-old Ruu to travel back in time and trap Lum  
  
inside the crystal ball. If Ruu's tutor, Miss Lahla,  
  
hadn't gotten Ataru inside to rescue Lum, time itself  
  
would have been altered. Lum would never have had  
  
children. Ruu would never have been born. And the paradox  
  
would have destroyed the future.  
  
Sakura was chasing after signs of an alternative  
  
reality. It was a past a month old that had happened,  
  
but, now, had not happen. But it was also a present that  
  
could not happen, but was about to happen. The insanity  
  
of the curse had the potential to destroy the future once  
  
again.  
  
Unable to find the free time, and against her own  
  
better judgment, Sakura got the school's official  
  
permission to take her class on "a field trip".  
  
Tall Perm again marveled at the beautiful woman's  
  
power, "I don't know what an Amusement park has to do  
  
with "Health & Hygiene"."  
  
Small Chibi speculated, "Perhaps it's full of examples  
  
of what NOT to do?"  
  
Big Kakugari said, "Most of what I find amusing isn't  
  
very clean."  
  
Handsome Ryuunosuke, in her boys' blue plebe uniform,  
  
frowned, "I worked all my life at my Old Man's little  
  
beach-side food stand. I know how important it is to keep  
  
things clean. Clean is NOT fun."  
  
Homely Ataru told them, "So who CARES what the reason  
  
is! We're in a place dedicated to everything school  
  
ISN'T: FUN!"  
  
The green-haired Lum, in her girls' sailor uniform,  
  
told him, "Darling! School IS fun, with the right  
  
attitude!"  
  
Samurai Mendou, in his white plebe uniform, told them,  
  
"If Miss Sakura brought us here, it can only be to  
  
further our education in some way." Shinobu, Ataru's former  
  
girlfriend, hung onto his arm.  
  
Ignoring them for the most part, Megane adjusted his  
  
thick glasses, "I suspect the truth is somewhere between  
  
those extremes." He had a book he kept glancing at.  
  
Ataru yelled, "Megane!! That book of yours is an  
  
insult to the Spirit of Field Trips! May the kami break  
  
your glasses in divine retribution!"  
  
Perm said, "I agree. It isn't like you to read a  
  
school book when you don't have to."  
  
Megan yelled, "I'm NOT reading a school book!! I'm  
  
reading "The Science of Star Trek"!!"  
  
Ataru accused, "See! "Science" is a school subject!  
  
Traitor!" Others voiced their agreement.  
  
Mendou said, "I seriously doubt the "Science of Star  
  
Trek" can be taken as anything to do with REAL science."  
  
Now it was Megane's turn to be indignant, " "Star  
  
Trek" is SCIENCE fiction! Take subspace. Under one  
  
scientific theory, since it underlies space-and-time, it  
  
is able to change...." Gradually the Trekkie became aware  
  
that he was alone. Everybody had gone off to see if they  
  
could find something better to do in the park. Anything  
  
better.  
  
Everybody but one. Sakura said, "Something tells me  
  
that subspace explanation has something to do with the real  
  
reason I'm here."  
  
Lum asked, "Darling! Don't you want to go on a ride  
  
like the Ferris Wheel or Tunnel of Love with me? Why do  
  
you want to go to the "Mirror House"?"  
  
Ataru told her, "Why do you think I'd go into a place  
  
with mirrors?"  
  
"Darling, I love you, but you're not that handsome."  
  
"Not me! I'm going to look at girls in the mirrors!  
  
And one definite WOMAN. That's where Sakura went."  
  
Lum lifted her feet off the ground and floated beside  
  
him, "You know those mirrors will distort what she looks  
  
like."  
  
"They won't DARE!! Sakura's beauty is classic! It  
  
would be sacrilege to not reflect her true..."  
  
Lum rolled her eyes and sighed.  
  
As they were about to enter the "Mirror House", an icy  
  
chill went up the spine of the hot-blooded space  
  
princess. "Darling! Let's not go in! I have a terrible  
  
feeling something terrible has--will--oh, my Oni sense of  
  
time is confused! We must be near a subspace portal!"  
  
Ataru sneered, "Humh! I didn't know you were a  
  
Trekkie, too."  
  
She pulled at his arm, "I'm serious, Darling!"  
  
Ataru yanked his arm out of hers, "Lum!! Not in  
  
public!" And as he entered, "And not at home, either."  
  
Then he put his mind to somebody more important, "Sakura!  
  
Miss Sakura! Sakura-sensei, where did you disappear to?!  
  
Help, I'm lost!"  
  
Lum's dread held her back, letting her "husband" get  
  
well ahead of her.  
  
Inside, only the wood floor wasn't one large piece of  
  
multi-facetted crystal. Ataru felt cheated: "This doesn't  
  
look like any house of mirrors I ever heard of! Where are  
  
the ones that make other people look silly and stupid!"  
  
Recovering from dashed expectations (something he was used  
  
to), he realized, "The mirrors go to the floor. (Heh,  
  
yeh, heh!) That means I can look under girls' skirts!" He  
  
pulled out a small mirror he kept for just such  
  
occasions.  
  
A short, bald and ugly man said, "Haven't you learned  
  
anything?"  
  
Ataru cried, "CHERRY!!?! Where'd you come from!?!!"  
  
Ignoring the question that usually greeted his  
  
appearance, the man in the Buddhist monk's outfit said,  
  
"Remember the last time you looked into a mirror through  
  
a mirror at the stroke of midnight?" A little imp had  
  
appeared and couldn't get back to the other side.  
  
Ataru struck him on the head, "This isn't midnight!!"  
  
His hand on the bruise, Cherry told him, "Time is  
  
broken in here. It is always midnight, under a full  
  
moon." At the moment when Ataru and Lum had shattered the  
  
crystal ball the first time out of time.  
  
Ataru didn't believe the little troll, "If time stands  
  
still, YOU would be standing still. And--"  
  
Cherry was standing as still as a statue. Ataru  
  
screamed, "Stop that!!" as he punted him out of his  
  
sight.  
  
Snorting, Ataru looked down at the crystal facets down  
  
near the floor through his little mirror. "Hmf! As if I'm  
  
going to let a curse keep me from girl-watching."  
  
But what he saw was only himself. Reflected many times  
  
over. Again and again. There were so many, coming at him  
  
or away from, back and forth, in so many directions, he  
  
felt like he was going to be split apart.  
  
He did.  
  
When he regained consciousness he was together again.  
  
But he was no longer in the "Mirror House". He was  
  
looking up at space, and the Milky Way. Sitting up, he  
  
found he was in a huge pink and white hall filled with  
  
Roman columns that went as far as eye could see! But  
  
scattered all about were high marble, stone, rock and  
  
wooden stages. Some had props and a minimum of  
  
decorations on them; some had backgrounds (Mt. Fuji, a  
  
rugged moonlit sea shore, a jungle, etc.); half hidden  
  
between some were complete tableaus. As large as a stage  
  
was a frosted cake and other deserts. There were tables  
  
and chairs of every sort (marble and lounges, Formica and  
  
padded, rustic wooden, etc.) While cushions were strewn  
  
about on the floor, in some places in piles, beside trays  
  
filled with goodies. And off to one side was a bathing pool  
  
the size of a lake, with a wall of shower sprays.  
  
Everywhere, there were costumes of every sort  
  
(leotards, geisha kimonos, stewardesses, grass skirts,  
  
nurses, harem outfits, tennis, bunnies, cowgirl, bikinis,  
  
normal dresses, and--Sailor suits! There were schoolgirl  
  
uniforms of every kind he'd ever seen.) There were  
  
thousands of them scattered about everywhere. And they  
  
were ALL obviously meant for girls with great figures.  
  
"But where are the bodies that are supposed to be in  
  
them?? They didn't all decide to go bathing at the same  
  
time, did they?" He rushed over to the pool, "Come on  
  
out! Come out and play! You can't hold your breaths  
  
forever!!" He stopped and looked down into the clear  
  
water. "No body is there, nude or otherwise."  
  
He looked around, "Nobody is here! Is this a pleasure  
  
palace or not!?!! Where's the pleasure! Bring me the  
  
women!!"  
  
No reply. No voice from the sky. No guy in a turban  
  
telling him his wish granted. No robot trundling out to  
  
process his order. Not even a cockroach. He was the only  
  
thing that moved in this vast, empty--  
  
He heard a groan. A girl's groan!! He ran for where he  
  
thought it came from.  
  
He almost immediately tripped over her. Down on the  
  
floor, he turned around to see, "LUM!!" The girl with the  
  
horns was laying unconscious in her tiger-striped, fur  
  
bikini.  
  
Getting up on his knees, Ataru snorted, "Hmf! I was  
  
right. This ISN'T a pleasure palace." He crossed his  
  
arms, "It's a trap to keep me AWAY from girls with only  
  
Lum around!" He bent forward, and yelled, "Wake up, Lum!!  
  
Wake up, it's not going to work!! You can NEVER have me  
  
all to yourself!!"  
  
She groaned again as she responded to the noise next  
  
to her. She felt very strange (and half dressed).  
  
Something must have gone wrong --She sat up, looking  
  
around for, "The crystal ball!! Where's the crystal  
  
ball?!!" Then she looked down. She had cleavage, and  
  
thighs, and HIPS! She never had hips like these before!!  
  
Or those other parts. She tried to get up, but found  
  
herself disoriented and dizzy. "Must find...crystal...."  
  
Ataru was suspicious. "You're telling me you have  
  
nothing to do with why we're here?"  
  
"Oh, no!!" she realized. "I AM responsible!" Then she  
  
took the boy by his coat sleeves, "Moroboshi! Only I  
  
know what spells I tried on the crystal! Without ME  
  
removing them, we might NEVER get out of here." Even the  
  
simplest movements made her aware of her physical  
  
condition. "And out of this body!"  
  
Ataru freed himself with a jerk and stood up, "I don't  
  
want you out that body. That body is the only thing I  
  
really like about you. And the bikini, of course." It  
  
wasn't quite true, but he was used to insulting her. He  
  
looked at the table with the black cloth with gold  
  
scribbles woven into it. "Is this the crystal ball you  
  
were looking for?"  
  
She got to her knees and held onto the table edge,  
  
"Yes!! It came with us! There's hope I can undo whatever  
  
I did!"  
  
Ataru walked away, looking around for something to  
  
relieve his growing boredom, "If you can't, could you at  
  
least bring more people here? And make them all girls!"  
  
Hunh? She didn't zap him. Lum didn't yell at him. He  
  
looked again at her. She was bent over the crystal ball  
  
thing waving her hands and speaking words that might be  
  
alien for all he understood of them. He sighed. Even in  
  
this unsexy pose (well, not intentionally, anyway), she  
  
looked tempting.  
  
He shook his head to clear it. She ALWAYS looked  
  
tempting! And it wasn't as if she hadn't offered him  
  
chance after chance with her. She lived in his bedroom  
  
closet! But if he gave in to her, she would've won! It would  
  
be like consummating their so-called marriage. And he wasn't  
  
READY to be tied down! Not while he still had his youth!  
  
He wouldn't waste what little time he had left to be  
  
irresponsible to take on the responsibilities of a wife,  
  
and (Gulp!) a family! He didn't WANT to be like his wage  
  
slave father! He was CONSTANTLY worried about their  
  
mortgage! He cared more about that than him, his own son!  
  
Shoulders back, he turned his back on her, and--Bumped  
  
up against the back of what definitely felt like a half-  
  
dressed girl! Cackling silently, he was thinking about  
  
how nice her ass was when he sucked green hair into his  
  
drooling mouth.  
  
Spitting it out, he at last cried, "Lum!?!! What  
  
technology did you use to get ahead of me like that!!?!"  
  
But all the girl could do, with her arms and legs out  
  
and bent, was flex her fingers uselessly as she sputtered  
  
at swear words that couldn't seem to come out.  
  
Ataru challenged her, "You KNOW I'm a master at  
  
escaping your traps! You can play teleport all you want,  
  
I won't--"  
  
Now his arm bumped into the FRONT of a half-dressed  
  
girl. Lum was now staring down at herself saying, "I'm  
  
taller. I'm taller. I'm a girl. But I'm taller." For some  
  
reason, she sounded a little like Chibi.  
  
The Lum behind her said, "And I'm smaller, and  
  
thinner. I don't know if I LIKE being smaller and  
  
thinner." And this one Kakugari.  
  
Yet another Lum said, "What do you MEAN you don't know  
  
if you like it!!? We're girls!" Perm? What was wrong with  
  
Lum's voices?  
  
Lums??? Lum had surrounded him!!  
  
Kakugari-Lum could almost smile at the thought of,  
  
"We're not any girls. We're Lums."  
  
The most traumatized girl stopped her finger flexing  
  
and sputtering and screamed, "Nghaaa!! No!! There is only  
  
ONE LUM!! No one ELSE can replace her!! Any cheap copy of  
  
our idol makes her common!!!" And that one sounded TOO  
  
much like Megane.  
  
Looking around at the growing number of Lums, Perm-Lum  
  
said, "Common? I'd say Lum is just about all there is."  
  
Kakugari-Lum said, "Lum is the standard."  
  
Chibi-Lum reminded, "Aren't those the things you're  
  
always saying about her, Megane?"  
  
A sixth bikini-clad Lum identified herself by leaping  
  
over a table as she attacked, "MO-RO-BO-SHI!!!"  
  
Definitely Mendou, Ataru thought as the horned girl  
  
knocked him to the floor and tried to strangle him. "How  
  
dare you not only pervert the heir of the Mendou clan and  
  
fortune, but make a mockery of Miss Lum at the SAME  
  
time!!"  
  
Ataru tickled her hairless armpits, exposed by the  
  
strapless bikini top. Mendou squirmed, trying desperately  
  
to maintain his samurai determination and finish the job  
  
of, at long last, killing his mortal enemy. It was very  
  
difficult to concentrate while in somebody else's body.  
  
Especially one of the opposite gender.  
  
Ataru, too, was finding it hard to concentrate. The  
  
hot, nude skin of this Lum felt every bit as good as the  
  
real one's. His hand started moving down towards her  
  
breasts.  
  
Mendou yelled, "Only a CAD would do that!!"  
  
"Or a husband." He shouldn't have said that. Ataru  
  
stopped himself. No!! Real or not, she LOOKED like Lum.  
  
He would NOT give her any satisfaction!  
  
With what air he had remaining, Ataru said,  
  
"Touching... You're touching...a girl."  
  
The thought planted in her pretty head, one of  
  
Mendou's phobias kicked in: Squawking, he could no longer  
  
keep his grip as chicken-bumps crawled up and down her  
  
sensuous body.  
  
She was still straddling him. Ataru told her, "Quick!  
  
There's a pool you can get clean in over there!" Mendou-  
  
Lum wasted no time getting to it.  
  
(Of course, trying to wash the girl-body she was in  
  
just made her phobia worse. Ataru liked the idea that  
  
Mendou would be making herself crazier and crazier.  
  
(For the first time Ataru noticed that their real  
  
names in Japanese characters were floating over the  
  
heads of each Lum. He thought it must be the same idea  
  
as the "prime mark" that had gone over the heads of each  
  
of the Ataru-clones Lum and Ran had zapped of him.)  
  
A Lum marked as "Shinobu" ran for the pool, "Mendou??  
  
That IS you, isn't it?" She had VERY mixed emotions over  
  
anybody who looked like Lum.  
  
Ataru called, "Shinobu!!" That was GREAT news: There  
  
WERE real girls here. Even if they all looked like Lum.  
  
"It's better to make out with girls who KNOWS how to be  
  
a girl."  
  
"MO-RO-BO-SHI!" hard voices said, surrounding him.  
  
Ataru judged they were all classmates of his. Though  
  
which were guys and which were girls he couldn't tell  
  
without reading their names. They ALL looked like the  
  
horned, green-haired Oni in her tiger-striped fur bikini.  
  
Exactly.  
  
Time for a bluff. Ataru said, "Since I'm the only one  
  
who is who HASN'T changed, that means I'M the only one  
  
who's important here!" He tried not to act too smug as he  
  
got up. "Anything happens to me, and you'll all be stuck  
  
this way."  
  
Megane-Lum said, "I think it's the other way around!  
  
Get rid of the only one ABNORMAL, and we'll all return to  
  
normal!"  
  
(Chibi said, "But I don't know if I want to return to  
  
being short.)  
  
A Lum that spoke with the voice of authority parted  
  
the mob by her mere presence, "Unfortunately, Moroboshi  
  
is correct. We will not escape this crystal prison by  
  
destroying him. (However tempting that is.)" It was  
  
Sakura.  
  
A Lum with a short fuse a loud voice yelled, "And who  
  
are YOU to give us advice and!!?!"  
  
The regal Lum looked at the other through critical  
  
eyes. "You haven't read my name!? I'm Sakura! And you're  
  
Onsen-Mark."  
  
The once stocky English teacher glowered, her red  
  
going all the way to her cleavage. Stupidly, she tried to  
  
deny she'd been identified, "How did I GET here!?!"  
  
Sakura-Lum said, "It is worse than I feared. Onsen-  
  
Mark wasn't with the field trip. Is there anybody else  
  
here that wasn't in "Marchenland"?!!"  
  
An embarrassed cough, and one shy Lum raised her hand.  
  
"I was, er, taking the day off, and, uh, was home, just  
  
reading the paper, and, well...."  
  
It could only be, "Father!?!" Ataru cried. Why didn't  
  
he have a name? All his characters said was "Ataru's-  
  
Dad".  
  
She said, rubbing the back of his head while cringing,  
  
"Ataru, Mother's here, too. Somewhere. I lost her among  
  
all the, heh, heh, other women."  
  
Sakura-Lum nodded her head somberly, her hypothesis  
  
confirmed. "As long as Moroboshi is not satisfied with  
  
this fantasy world, his desire will reach out and draw in  
  
others. He has started with those he knows. There is no  
  
telling how many more will be brought here to fill his  
  
void."  
  
Megane-Lum cried, "We have to fulfill MOROBOSHI'S  
  
fantasies!?!!"  
  
Perm-Lum said, "That bottomless pit of depravity!!?!"  
  
Single-minded Onsen-Mark-Lum refused, "I will NOT give  
  
in to one of my students!"  
  
Chibi-Lum said, "But he's a guy!" She was disturbed  
  
that she wasn't as disturbed as she SHOULD be at the  
  
thought. Did a girl's brain go with a girl's body?  
  
Her hands fists, her stomach turning, the girl raised as  
  
a boy, Ryuunosuke-Lum swore, "If that's the price I have to  
  
pay, I DON'T want to be a girl."  
  
Momoe-Lum, voted the second most attractive girl  
  
before Lum had joined the class, said, "Not even a real girl  
  
would have anything to do with him!"  
  
Shinobu-Lum, third most attractive, protested, "I once  
  
dated Ataru." It wasn't something she was proud of. But  
  
love was like that. At least for her.  
  
Ataru's-Dad-Lum lamented, "I should never have had  
  
him."  
  
In the bathing pool, Mendou-Lum screamed, "I refuse!!  
  
I will die the honorable death of the samurai: Seppuku!!"  
  
Her skin was visibly crawling, now.  
  
Sakura-Lum informed her, and the rest, "This is  
  
subspace, below the reality where death exists. The only  
  
ones who can decide this existence are Lum and Ataru."  
  
Ataru cackled, "Yee! Hee! Heh, heh! Everybody has to  
  
do what I say? I get my revenge AND the girls?"  
  
Sakura-Lum coldly told him, "Idiot! You get ONE girl:  
  
Lum. This curse has shifted onto YOU, Moroboshi! But it STILL  
  
exists because of Lum. Since she's not here, we are all  
  
made her substitute."  
  
Trying to find the positive of what would otherwise be  
  
a wet dream come true, Ataru kept his smile. "But you're  
  
NOT really her! And all of those costumes say you can  
  
look different. Put those on, and I can IMAGINE you all  
  
to be different girls." He looked around, "Aren't their  
  
any wigs? Hair dye??"  
  
Perm-Lum said, "I want a girl! I don't want to BE  
  
one!"  
  
Shinobu looked at the choices of clothes, "Most of  
  
them are almost as bad as Lum's outfit."  
  
Onsen-Mark-Lum crossed her arms, "I REFUSE to wear--"  
  
She uncrossed them because they crossed her breasts.  
  
Ataru moved to a chair with a high back. It was the  
  
best thing to a throne he could see, "That is what your  
  
sheik wants!"  
  
Megane-Lum cried, "I will not be part of a harem!!  
  
Especially MOROBOSHI'S!!!"  
  
Sakura-Lum quieted them down before the riot started.  
  
Then told them, "Put them on! They make us less  
  
confusing. Except for the names over our heads, we ALL  
  
look the same now! They will give us SOME individuality."  
  
The girl-Lums had ways of telling who had always been  
  
girls by the way they moved and the sounds they made;  
  
they were even able to tell who their girl friends were.  
  
They quickly organized things. They divided up and took  
  
charge of the guy-Lums. They stripped them and themselves  
  
(it helped THEM to know that this wasn't THEIR female  
  
body). Any Lum they caught staring at their bodies, they  
  
made look at their OWN (identical) body. They then  
  
dressed in the first sensible outfit they could find. Not  
  
so for the guy-Lums. Those that had given them trouble,  
  
they punished by putting on the sexiest or stupidest  
  
(sometimes the same thing) outfit they found. Those  
  
guy-Lums that refused to cooperate were teamed up on  
  
by the girls. If they didn't respond to the guy-motivations  
  
they still possessed, they would subject them the techniques  
  
girls had developed over the millennia to torment their own  
  
gender.  
  
Perm-Lum looked down at her pink nurse (with a mini)  
  
costume. "I'm glad this isn't reality. I would be  
  
severely traumatized by now."  
  
Kakugari-Lum was a waitress (were the strap of her  
  
short skirt went around her blouse's bust), "I should be  
  
taking this out on Chibi. But I don't feel that mad."  
  
Masako-Lum, in a sexy stewardess uniform, said, "So  
  
should I. But I don't seem to mind being in a body better  
  
built than my own." SHE had been voted only fifth most  
  
attractive.  
  
Chibi-Lum looked down at her hose-covered long legs,  
  
revealed by her French maid's uniform, "I almost like  
  
being a tall girl. What about you, Megane?"  
  
Megane-Lum could say nothing. She had collapsed from  
  
exhaustion in a pile of cushions. She was still in her  
  
tiger-striped fur bikini because nobody could get her to  
  
stop running about. She had been fanatically trying to  
  
defend Lum's honor, by ordering the Lum clones to keep  
  
their eyes closed and covered up. She did her best to at  
  
trying to keep everybody in this little world from seeing  
  
what her goddess princess looked like naked. She had had  
  
wanted THAT pleasure for herself alone!!  
  
Ryuunosuke-Lum was smiling down at her school fuku  
  
uniform like somebody in love, "This can't be real. I'm  
  
actually wearing a sailor suit." To this girl raised as a  
  
guy, this was the ULTIMATE in femininity. It was her  
  
fetish.  
  
Her domineering father, who had spent his entire  
  
life at the beach, was nearby in string bikini, searching,  
  
"Ryuunosuke!! Where are you?!! Don't forget, you're a  
  
man!! I better find you in something butch!! -- Something  
  
with pants!!"  
  
Onsen-Mark-Lum WAS having more trouble than most of  
  
the others wearing girls' attire. Slightly green around  
  
the gills, the Lum in a tight Gibson Girl costume told  
  
herself, "I'm the one who found something old-fashioned  
  
and covering! I will not let this corset bother me. I will not  
  
let these high button shoes bother me. I will not let..."  
  
He had once taken it upon himself to teach  
  
Ryuunosuke how to be a lady. This "Henry Higgins" had  
  
taken "My Fair Lady" WAY too seriously and had her dress  
  
similarly to this, the way they did in the movie.  
  
In her kimono, Mendou-Lum, too, was having similar  
  
difficulties, "This obi is pressing against the breasts." His  
  
sister was only allowed to wear VERY old-fashioned clothes,  
  
nothing that dated after the Meiji age, Japanese, though  
  
sometimes Western. And since Mendou was now a girl, she  
  
felt honor bound to follow the tradition set by the clan for  
  
their females. (Meanwhile, Ryoko was in a leg-revealing  
  
circus ring-mistress outfit looking for a whip.)  
  
Ataru's-Dad-Lum looked down at her cowgirl one (with  
  
cutoffs and chaps). "It WAS a fantasy of mine to be a  
  
cowboy. But perhaps I should have chosen a costume were I  
  
could just sit and read the paper." And he went looking  
  
for a bathrobe.  
  
Meanwhile there was a Lum that with the characters for  
  
"Ataru's-Mom" over her head running around giggling in a  
  
green teddy, "I'm YOUNG and irresponsible again!  
  
Everybody ignore what that silly sign says! No stretch  
  
marks mean I never HAD a child!!"  
  
Sakura-Lum in a strapless, backless gown asked the Lum  
  
in the pink, metallic one-piece, "Shinobu, why are you  
  
dressed like Ran?" Ran was Lum's childhood girl friend.  
  
The other green-haired girl with horns said, "Because  
  
I'm tired of all the overexposed alien girls getting all  
  
of the attention. Ataru will notice me more like this."  
  
Sakura-Lum shook her head, "I HAD hoped you had gotten  
  
over your unfortunate attachment to him. I...." her voice  
  
trailed off when she saw a Lum in the standard mock-  
  
tuxedo costume (with fishnet stockings) that the female  
  
magician wore. "Excuse me. I think I finally found the  
  
baka I am looking for. I just have to take off her top  
  
hat and read her name."  
  
While Sakura-Lum went to confront Tsubame-Lum,  
  
Shinobu-Lum went to Ataru. They had played house since  
  
their childhood. And she HAD been Ataru's girlfriend. She  
  
even offered to marry him. Then Lum came between them. On  
  
the rebound, Shinobu became the girl of rich, handsome  
  
Mendou. But even there she knew Mendou was using her to  
  
stay close to Lum.  
  
She had once had some influence over Ataru. If she  
  
could re-establish that, then she could maybe get him to  
  
give up this fantasy world of his. (It would prove he  
  
liked HER better than Lum!) "Ataru..." she said in her  
  
most sultry voice, "I wore this specially for you. I can  
  
be sexier than everybody else, now." At least until they  
  
decide they have to get into some kind of dumb  
  
competition with each other. "Well? Do you like?" When  
  
she got no reply, she took the gag out of his mouth.  
  
Still blindfolded and hogtied, Ataru yelled, "You guys  
  
don't think I've never seen Lum naked before!! She tries  
  
to seduce me all of the time!! You think seeing a sea of  
  
naked Lums is going to be any different!?!! I am a sailor  
  
on the stormy sea! Aye, I eye..." While he ranted,  
  
Shinobu knelt down and untied him.  
  
When he was sitting up on the floor, Shinobu said,  
  
"NOW will you look at me?!"  
  
A sudden burst of ball lightning made him push them  
  
apart. The real Lum appeared within, "Darling! I'm in my  
  
UFO! I'm using it to open this subspace portal. Quick!  
  
Come out while you still can!!"  
  
Ataru yelled, "Never!! This is MY fantasy world!! All  
  
of my wishes get to come true!! I have hundreds of women  
  
here, and they're all MINE!! ( Ha! Ha, ha!) I have every  
  
variation imaginable!!" Of course they were variations on  
  
the Lum theme. But at least THEY were fake Lums.  
  
The real Lum told him, "Darling, don't be stupid! I  
  
can't maintain this subspace entrance. Something beyond  
  
my science keeps closing the way up! I don't know how  
  
many chances I have at getting you out!!"  
  
Ataru told her, "You have NO chances!! I'm going to  
  
spend the rest of eternity swimming in women! And because  
  
they have no where else to go..." The ball of electricity  
  
disappeared, and he raised his voice even louder, "--  
  
They'll all learn to LOVE me!!! I'm the only MAN  
  
around!!"  
  
Leaping, Megane-Lum made a desperate grab, "Lum-  
  
chan!!"  
  
As the Lum who looked the most like Lum landed on  
  
Ataru, Shinobu screamed in frustration, "We'll LEARN to  
  
love YOU!!?! Start with THIS one!!!" And she used her  
  
mighty adrenalin-powered strength to push the two faces  
  
together.  
  
But they refused to kiss. They kept as much of their  
  
bodies as far apart as they could. "You say a sea of Lums  
  
won't affect you!?!!" She took the long cord that had  
  
tied Ataru up, and bound the half-naked Lum to him.  
  
Megane-Lum pleaded, "No, Shinobu: Not this!! Even if  
  
it WASN'T Moroboshi!! He's a guy!! Where's you humanity!!?!  
  
Have MERCY!!"  
  
Shinobu said, " "Mercy"? For a guy who proudly calls  
  
himself a "Storm Trooper"!?" And she stuffed the gag in  
  
her mouth before walking away.  
  
Shinobu wasn't looking where she was going, and bumped  
  
into a couple of Lums, "Excuse me, I didn't see--??"  
  
Black, transparent veils covered them from head to  
  
ankles that left little of Lum's body to the imagination.  
  
The first of the veiled girls bowed her bikinied Lum  
  
puppet and said in her male voice, "Come! You are invited  
  
to the party being organized by Lady Ryoko."  
  
Shinobu now knew why the girls were wearing black  
  
veils, "You're Mendou's sister's kuroko!" While Shuutaro  
  
had his secret service (and private army), Ryoko had her  
  
OWN Men-in-Black. Up to now they always wore the  
  
traditional costume of the Japanese puppeteer that was  
  
supposed to make them all but invisible to the audience.  
  
And they WERE treated as if they couldn't be seen. The  
  
Japanese were raised and conditioned to ignore the  
  
puppeteer.  
  
The one with "2nd Kuroko" written over her head said  
  
with her Lum puppet and male voice, "It is a masked ball,  
  
but Lady Ryoko considers anyone who doesn't look like  
  
themselves as being in masks."  
  
Shinobu said, "Yes. It does help that we look like  
  
everybody else, not ourselves." But then she realized,  
  
"You don't mean a masked BRAWL, do you!?!"  
  
Puppet Lum one threw up her hand in delight, "Kamen  
  
butoukai can mean either. It is up to guests!"  
  
Shinobu didn't buy that, "You mean the "hostess"!" She  
  
looked around for some sign of which of the now hundreds  
  
of Lums was Mendou's respectable (but evil) sister, "Who  
  
gave HER the right to be the hostess!? This is Ataru's  
  
world!" Of course, if Ryoko asked, Ataru was idiot enough to  
  
say she could do just about whatever she wanted. So did  
  
that mean she even HAD to ask?  
  
It was too late. The "party" had already begun, with  
  
everybody eager to do SOMETHING to help take their  
  
minds off of what had happened to them:  
  
On a traditional Japanese wooden stage, Geisha Lums  
  
were fighting with martial arts fans, while two shaminsen  
  
players were dueling with more than just the music of  
  
their three-stringed guitars.  
  
Up on a Greco-Roman marble stage a women's mud-  
  
wrestling match was going on. It was hard to tell if the  
  
gathered around the ring were spectators or tag-team  
  
members. "Gymnos" was Greek for naked.  
  
On an American stage, long-legged Lums dressed up like  
  
Rockettes were kickboxing. Down below, majorettes were  
  
twirling, tossing and throwing flaming batons back and  
  
forth at each other.  
  
On an opera stage, Lum Valkyries with Nazi armbands  
  
were going at it, Wagnerian style, with swords, spears  
  
and shields. But their real weapons were their wailing  
  
voices.  
  
Green-haired Ballywood dancers were doing energetic  
  
Indian variations against one another, while others were  
  
teaching robed Lums yoga the hard way. Stewardesses were  
  
giving airplane rides without planes. Harem Lums were  
  
using the veils they tore off other Lums to make whirling  
  
dervishes. Horned cowgirls were roping and hogtying any  
  
strays they came across. High-heeled Bunny girls had to  
  
hop to avoid flying serving trays. Lums in colorful pieces of  
  
African cloths were jumping up-and-down while bouncing  
  
against each other. Girls in short gym bloomers were  
  
spiking and dodging balls. Mayan Lums were tickling  
  
savagely with large, colorful feathers.  
  
And among them all were black-veiled kuroko whispering  
  
reasons for the fights, providing props and propping up  
  
those that could no longer stand on their own.  
  
And standing in a cage above it all was Ryoko-Lum in  
  
her circus ring-mistress costume and whip.  
  
Shinobu-Lum gritted her teeth, "Only in a fantasy  
  
could things get out of hand SO quickly. Well, I guess it was  
  
either violence of sex." She hefted the nearest restaurant table.  
  
Swinging it, she yelled, "Doesn't ANYBODY have anything better  
  
to do!!?!" as she tried to stop the senseless action  
  
single-handedly  
  
Of course, she had no idea how she was going to handle  
  
giant, transparent riding-robots. Asuka-Lum, Mendou's  
  
official fiancée, was dressed up like Wonder Woman and  
  
was battling a Lum in a Fantastic Four costume! At least  
  
they were staying in the area reserved for heavy  
  
machinery and motocross bikes.  
  
Meanwhile, Shuutaro Mendou-Lum in her kimono and obi  
  
had found a samurai sword. "Where's Moroboshi!!?! I don't  
  
CARE if we're be trapped in here for eternity! It won't be with  
  
HIM!!!"  
  
His righteous vengeance was interrupted by a Lum in a  
  
skirted baseball uniform with a quiver of bats and mitts  
  
challenging, "Shuu-chan! Our match can no longer be  
  
delayed!"  
  
Mendou-Lum looked at the Lum with stars in her eyes,  
  
"Ton-chan??" By ritual rather than desire, she stood  
  
erect, and said the prescribed words, "I won't run, and I  
  
won't hide. I accept the challenge, face to face!" She  
  
called out, "Mendou Assault Force! I order you to come  
  
stand beside me!!" This being baseball, it really didn't  
  
matter what anybody was wearing.  
  
Tobimaro Mizunoukoji called on his all-female security  
  
force (and still girls), "For the honor of the  
  
Mizunoukoji Sporting Goods Empire!! I swear on all that  
  
is sacred in the competition (Gha, gag!)" She found it  
  
hard to get a baseball up from her gut through Lum's  
  
small mouth. He had a habit of swallowing them.  
  
Ignoring the fights, (and the marble columns) all  
  
around and between them, they quickly got in their  
  
positions for the competition to see WHO would be the  
  
dominant one.  
  
Not far away, waitress Kakugari-Lum wasn't happy  
  
serving spectators at tables, "This stinks! I don't WANT  
  
to be the one serving food."  
  
Maid Chibi-Lum, picking things up, "At least YOU don't  
  
have to clean up messes!"  
  
Kakugari-Lum told her, "Clean THIS up!" and threw her  
  
tray. Chibi-Lum tossed the food from the table next to  
  
her. When Kakugari-Lum ducked, the people sitting behind  
  
her got hit. They threw THEIR meal...It wasn't long  
  
before food was flying everywhere. And the baseball  
  
players were batting and catching rice balls, buttery  
  
escargot, watermelons, etc. Soon everybody needed a bath.  
  
(But only rain would delay the ball game.)  
  
Still bound to Megane-Lum, Ataru had the perfect view  
  
of all the Lums getting under the wall of showers before  
  
entering the bathing pool. Most didn't take their  
  
costumes off. But once in the pool, they found out it WAS  
  
a good idea to get out of them. There were hundreds of  
  
stripping or naked green-haired girls.  
  
Ataru screamed with frustration, "This place IS a  
  
curse!! It's a NIGHTMARE! Even if I DID have my hands  
  
free, I couldn't touch any of them!!"  
  
Megane-Lum spit her gag into Moroboshi's face, "You've  
  
got that right, Moroboshi! If I had MY hands free, I'd  
  
break your arms."  
  
Ataru yelled at him, "That's NOT what I mean!! Girls  
  
have tried to do worse to me! That's never stopped me  
  
before! That's price you have to pay for loving!"  
  
Megane-Lum, "Bastard!!" But her attempt at attacking  
  
his groin only stimulated it. She could feel it growing  
  
between their bodies.  
  
Ataru almost smiled, "See? I know the moves to protect  
  
what's important in life. Now stop it before I do  
  
something I don't WANT to do!"  
  
Bikinied Megane-Lum was suspicious. "You don't WANT to  
  
have your evil way with me?"  
  
Ataru glared at her, "Of course not! I could've gotten  
  
out of these ropes, if I wanted to. Without thinking,  
  
I've escaped just about everything! But I'm not STUPID  
  
enough to want to be free. I'm surrounded by nothing but  
  
women wherever I look--But their all LUMS!! Why would I  
  
want to have my evil ways with HER!?!"  
  
Megane-Lum snapped, "You're SCUM, Moroboshi!! WORSE  
  
than scum!!! Thanks to the sweet and beautiful, perfect  
  
Lum-chan you could raise higher than ANY human before--To  
  
the top of Galactic society!! But do you appreciate that  
  
warm and loving, exotic woman!!?!" Their bond tightened  
  
around them; and STILL she struggled on, "I will  
  
PERSONALLY save the universe by killing you! I will  
  
sacrifice my happiness, by saving Lum-chan from her life  
  
of misery!! She'll hate me, but she will no longer cry  
  
herself..."  
  
As Megane-Lum ranted on, Ataru yelled, "Stop it,  
  
Megane!! Stop it!! You're cutting off the blood  
  
everywhere but where I WANT it to be!! You're TURNING me  
  
on!!!" Even as he pleaded, his hands acted on their own,  
  
finding some bare flesh to fondle and squeeze.  
  
Sakura-Lum finally caught up with the Lum in the  
  
magician's tux, top hat and fishnet stockings. Tsubame-  
  
Lum and her crystal ball had found a coven of naked Lums  
  
and, besides hiding in their number, was hoping they were  
  
more than just enthusiastic amateurs playing at being  
  
witches. (At least they had non-Japanese names.) She was  
  
trying to explain the ritual she wanted them to help her  
  
with when Sakura-Lum subtracted the required thirteenth  
  
member with her martial arts. The twelve others got the  
  
message and went to hold their sabat elsewhere.  
  
Sakura-Lum's voice was low but filled with rage,  
  
"Tsubame, you great IDIOT!! This is totally unforgivable.  
  
You are the only man I've ever loved, but there is a  
  
limit to the incompetence I can tolerate. Your venture  
  
into magic that is far beyond your skills is not only  
  
threatening to empty the world, and leave it open for  
  
alien colonization, but it has effected my OWN ability to  
  
set things right! This is a world unlike the Japan I'm  
  
familiar with! It has it's own rules of enchantment! I'm  
  
going to have to waste months if not years studying HOW  
  
to free us from this prison..."  
  
Every word she spoke, every syllable was a stab into  
  
Tsubame's heart. She could no longer feel like a fraction  
  
of a man. It was because of Sakura that he had BECOME a  
  
wizard. Everything in his life was done to please her.  
  
But now...Tsubame-Lum's eyes were cast down in utter  
  
shame and defeat. She looked down at the crystal ball she  
  
held. What had given her the idea that this accursed  
  
object could.... "Sakura. Sakura! Look!! Look at the  
  
ball!!!"  
  
Sakura-Lum told her, "Don't try and change the  
  
subject, Fool!! I don't care that that globe...." The  
  
yellow-and-red flames inside the crystal were just  
  
embers, about to be extinguished. "The curse, the curse  
  
that condemned Lum to a life without love is, is burning  
  
itself out."  
  
Megane-Lum ordered Ataru to, "Get your hand off of my  
  
butt!!!"  
  
Ataru did. "It's not your butt. It's Lum's. I was  
  
fooling with Lum's body, and I was thinking of her--Just  
  
like I was AFRAID I was going to do!"  
  
Megane-Lum said, "Only YOU could caress Lum and not  
  
like it, you insensitive lecher!!"  
  
Ataru said, "I DON'T hate it! Don't you understand, I  
  
NEVER hated Lum's body! It is ALWAYS a temptation! It's  
  
ALWAYS something I want. But it's got LUM inside!"  
  
Megane-Lum cried, "Well, she's not in THIS body!!"  
  
Ataru said, "No. She isn't." Not thinking of how to  
  
escape, he jumped free of the ropes. Desperately,  
  
uncharacteristically, he attacked every girl he could reach.  
  
Every Lum that did not run, slapped, kicked, hit, bit, punched,  
  
beat and pummeled him. He was pushed into the bathing pool,  
  
where he squeezed, kissed and slobbered on naked Lums. He  
  
was nearly drowned by every one of them. There was nothing  
  
new here. Girls had always done that to him.  
  
Barely holding onto the edge of the pool, waterlogged,  
  
bruised, bleeding, Ataru looked again at all of the Lums  
  
around him. "I'm the only guy here! They're all for me. All  
  
mine to wear down. I will be able to have Lum's body, all I  
  
want. ...But I won't have...her." His voice became hollow,  
  
"She's won. I know now there is something more important  
  
to me than the simple pleasures of the flesh." It was enough  
  
to make him weep.  
  
Only one ember remained in the crystal.  
  
Suddenly a fire ignited in it. It grew to a blaze. These  
  
flames were blue-and-violet. The curse had been reversed:  
  
The curse was now a blessing!  
  
The light from the crystal grew brighter and brighter,  
  
expanding to fill every corner of this little world.  
  
"Darling!!" The first, bleary sight Ataru had was of  
  
Lum in her fur, tiger-striped bikini. His head was in her  
  
lap. For some reason he didn't remember, he had to ask  
  
himself, is it really Lum?  
  
Ran in one of her pink, frilly Earth dresses was looking  
  
down at him, "I could give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation."  
  
Her alien power was the ability to suck the youth out of  
  
people. And she had a severe grudge against Lum.  
  
Oyuki in her Neptunian kimono suggested, "Perhaps a  
  
cold compress? The charge will be minimal." She deserved  
  
her title "Ice Queen".  
  
Benten the space biker chick of the alien God race  
  
said, "Just smack him!"  
  
Little preschooler, and Ataru's chief alien nemesis,  
  
Ten said, "I just want to give him a hot foot." His power  
  
was blowing flames  
  
Lum's mother in her fur, tiger-striped dress said  
  
something unintelligible.  
  
Lum's giant father, Mr. Invader, exasperated, had to  
  
ask his wife, "Then WHY did we come all the way out to  
  
Earth, if we weren't needed!?! You had me bring my fleet  
  
of warships!"  
  
Rei, Lum's very handsome ex-fiancé, took her hand,  
  
"Lum!"  
  
Lum protested, "No! I love Darling!"  
  
Ataru rose and took the hand away from his alien  
  
rival, "Keep your hands off of Lum! She belongs to ME!!"  
  
Lum's eyes crossed, "What??"  
  
Ataru continued to hold onto her hand, "I love you,  
  
Lum."  
  
Crow-goblin princess Kurama fell back, "It's a trick!  
  
While Lum is stunned, he's going to go steal kisses!"  
  
Ataru went up on one knee, "Lum, will you become my  
  
wife in more than just name?"  
  
Megane, back in his plebe uniform, looked on.  
  
"Moroboshi. He, he...." The one who had always thought  
  
that nobody could love Lum-chan as much as himself could  
  
not say it.  
  
Perm told him, "Don't watch, Megane. Come on! Look at  
  
all of the aliens! It's like every one who's ever known Lum has  
  
come to this amusement park!"  
  
Megane did look. Besides ones that looked like walking  
  
fish, octopi, millipedes, crows, Oni, Wookies, Huts,  
  
Klingons, rugby ball aliens, and blobs where those that  
  
looked like catgirls, vamps, beegirls, fairies with  
  
dragonfly wings, elves riding butterflies, centaurs,  
  
mermaids, satyrs, nymphs, and every other mythological  
  
humanoid. Not to mention a Japanese mountain god and  
  
peach spirit, umbrella demon, pool monster, water  
  
vampires, giant ghost cat, red cloak ghost, the Great  
  
Water Melon, phantasms and figments.  
  
There was even the beautiful flower seller and her  
  
giant, talking chrysanthemum.  
  
Megane saw them. But they held no interest for him.  
  
Chibi said, "Wow, he's got it bad."  
  
Kakugari suggested, "Perhaps a ride? Look! Perhaps  
  
that giant robot will give you a lift like in "Robot  
  
Carnival"."  
  
The fifteen foot tall armored robot stopped its  
  
aimless wondering to asked, "Do you like mechas?"  
  
Megane found something to take his mind off of his  
  
loss. Bragging. "I built my OWN Heavy-Duty Mobile Suit.  
  
It took me days!"  
  
"Days!?!" The torso of the riding machine with legs  
  
opened. A shy, starry-eyed girl smiled down on him. "I've  
  
met so FEW boys in my life. And none seem to know much  
  
about any kind of mobile suits."  
  
Tobimaro with his quiver of baseball equipment came  
  
running. It was hard to believe the guy with the uncut  
  
hair and tattered clothes was heir to one of the greatest  
  
fortunes in Japan. Swinging practice bats, he cried,  
  
"Leave my sister alone!!"  
  
Mendou with his sword was beside him, "I will defend  
  
your honor, Lady Asuka!!" Both the Mendou private army  
  
and the Mizunokoji all-girl security force joined forces  
  
on a common mission with their commanders. Tanks, armored  
  
personnel carriers, helicopters, fighters and bombers  
  
would soon arrive, not to mention pro athletes with top  
  
secret training equipment.  
  
Asuka hesitated, but, then, pushed a button on her  
  
controls. As in certain kinds of anime, a body-sized  
  
mobile suit assembled around Megane: The battle had  
  
begun!  
  
...Perm, Kakugari, and Chibi abandoned Megane and  
  
rushed to find some girls to hide behind. Girls were  
  
usually safer than the guys in Tomobiki...  
  
...The teachers, the abrasive Onsen-Mark and  
  
idealistic Hanawa, found themselves in the middle, trying  
  
to get their students under control. They failed in this,  
  
of course. But it did win them compliments from some of  
  
the female security personnel...  
  
...The Oni and God races found another excuse to  
  
resume their ages-old friendly war. Other aliens who were  
  
interested chose up sides...  
  
...Despite her martial arts skills, Ryuunosuke was hit  
  
by what she thought was one of the many stray alien beams.  
  
But it turned out it was from a teleporter meant to clear  
  
the field of battle. She ended up far from her father, in  
  
a high mountain valley called Juusenkyo...  
  
In one of the islands of calm, Ataru's father blinked,  
  
"How did we get to the amusement park? The last thing I  
  
remember was being at home reading the paper."  
  
Ataru's mother said, "The last I remember, I was shop-  
  
--You were HOME!?!"  
  
Trying to save himself from a nagging, he said, "Er,  
  
now that we're here, let's take in the sights! It'll, uh,  
  
be like a date!"  
  
She smiled, "A date?" She leaned against his arm as  
  
she hugged it, "We haven't been out for a long time,  
  
Dear."  
  
Across their path ran an oddly dressed little man and  
  
his nightmare-eating tapir chasing Mendou's sister, Ryoko  
  
in her kimono. "Come back! You can supply the hungry  
  
little glutton all the bad dreams he could want! We can  
  
team up: You MAKE nightmares!!" Her squad of kuroko  
  
were already asleep...  
  
At a carnival booth, Shinobu watched Natsuko's face  
  
become contorted as the captain of the girl's volleyball  
  
team lost all control as she knocked over the lead  
  
bottles with her baseballs. Poor girl. She was cute until  
  
her need to compete made her ugly from all-out effort.  
  
But there was a masked, green-skinned guy in muscle-  
  
revealing spandex who said admiringly, "Doesn't she look  
  
super when she's like that! You HAVE to admire her  
  
spirit."  
  
A teen's voice called her name, "Shinobu!" A cute  
  
blonde in a stupid-looking, baggy, white rabbit suit with  
  
the alarm clock around his neck came running up to her,  
  
"I was working in Destiny Management when I heard the  
  
news! Isn't it wonderful?!!" He took hold of her hands,  
  
"We don't HAVE to wait to meet! All the old destinies  
  
have been thrown out!"...  
  
The first person Sakura saw was Tsubame. "Are we  
  
free!?! Are we truly free, or is this ANOTHER false  
  
reality?!" She assured herself that, at least, HE was  
  
real.  
  
Tsubame looked around at "Fairy Tale Land". It was  
  
filled with thousands of human and alien couples mixing  
  
together, all free to have a good time, each in their own  
  
way. Some through combat, others through more peaceful  
  
means. "I don't know; this doesn't look like the reality  
  
I remember."  
  
The Western managers of Marchenland rushed up to him,  
  
"You've done it, Ozuno!! You've brought back the magic  
  
the customers demanded!"  
  
The businesswoman said, "AND the aliens! It means we  
  
don't have to limit our marketing to Earth!"  
  
As they rushed off to see to keeping the festive  
  
atmosphere going, they said, "You're getting a bonus,  
  
Ozuno!!"  
  
The other agreed, "The curse is gone!!"  
  
Cherry startled them when he announced from behind  
  
Tsubame and his niece, "The curse IS gone, Ozuno. I see  
  
you have exceeded anything Sakura or even I could do  
  
with our talents." He did not look pleased. But, then,  
  
but the squinting frog face seldom did, "THAT was the  
  
condition for your marrying my niece, Sakura, was it  
  
not?"  
  
Tsubame Ozuno hung his handsome head, "But...." He was  
  
not proud; he knew the truth. "I did it by not KNOWING  
  
what I was doing: It could have been the biggest foul up of all  
  
time! What was just a curse on two people, could've resulted in  
  
a curse on everybody. Nobody could have ever known love. I  
  
am a menace."  
  
Cherry nodded gravely. "All the more reason for Sakura  
  
to be able to keep her eye on you ALL of the time."  
  
Sakura dared not smile, dare not hope, "You mean...?!"  
  
Cherry nodded his huge head, "I give you my permission  
  
to wed."  
  
The two lovers fell into each others arms, embracing,  
  
holding each other as tightly as if they COULD become  
  
one. When Tsubame broke from his long kiss of his beloved  
  
Sakura, he said, "If this is just a fantasy, then I don't  
  
wish to wake up."  
  
Sakura smiled, "Do not disturb." And they returned to  
  
expressing their love.  
  
Cherry looked discretely away. His eyes fell on Ataru  
  
doing the same with Lum. He noted, "There is no longer an  
  
ominous shadow over that boy's face. Quite the opposite."  
  
The managers had the theme music start. Even that man  
  
and woman with their MBAs could feel the meaning of those  
  
words:  
  
"Rock the Planet!  
  
"We'll be rockin' the planet, baby!  
  
"Rock the Planet for EVERYONE!..."  
  
The age of Ataru and Lum, the god and goddess of love,  
  
had begun. A little chaos can be a good thing.  
  
The End 


End file.
